After a perfectly blissful birthday (yesterday!) I am still riding the wave of peace and love after day two at Yoga Festival Toronto, an inspiring gathering of local yogis and practitioners who create my beautiful city Sangha
Susan Richardson guided my body to embrace the delicate interplay of breath and alignment
as though I was an unfolding origami paper...
I entered class with all my complexity, my form and structure firmly entrenched in my mind.
My creases straight and my angles sharp, holding space.
The expression of my postures on the surface of my body;
the blooming gardenia in two dimensions.
Close your eyes.
Allow the back of your neck to soften.
The inner ear elongates.
The root of your tongue soft, all the way to the base of the clavicle.
Breathe into the void behind your heart.
The empty space in the body.
Breathe.
Into the void.
The emptiness.
Open to possibility.
Dimensions rather than layers.
The ebb and flow of asana taking form around the breath.
"(s)He is the real Sadhu, who can reveal the form of the Formless to the vision of these eyes"
Kabir. The son of a weaver.
Spider Clan.
Kindred souls meeting after 600 years
Chetana Panwar opened my heart to nirguna bhakti.
Formless Devotion
Discovering the ocean contained in a single raindrop
Within each cell the infinite resides without rules, without boundaries, without perception
Allowing my Self to experience embodiment of the Divine
on my own terms
as part of the whole
earth
air
fire
water
Closing my eyes
Dropping in to experience
Sweetness of the Nectar on my tongue
My body is my fullest expression
Without thought
or effort
Without interpretation
"Like a mute person who tastes a sweet thing ~ how can it be explained"
Moving into the flow of Shakti
Exploring the forms of the feminine with Karusia Wroblewski
Letting go of what my body knows and wants to know.
Creative passion, sexual, primal, necessary
Moving to the heartbeat of the drum
Swaying hips
Breasts lifted and proud
Eyes glittering
I am dancing the Divine
Durga the destroyer; fear my power
Lakshmi the provider; I am abundant and eternal
Saraswati; my lessons and learnings are gifts to share
"Behold my heart dances in the delight of a hundred arts and the Creator is well pleased"
I am born anew
I am only who I am at this moment
Free from the past,
Gone before the future arrives.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
teaching for my students, not myself
I reluctantly dragged myself to consciousness this morning feeling like I'd been on spin cycle for most of my night. Cold sweats, headache and nausea greeted me as I woke up for the 4th time in as many hours.
I realized I had set my alarm clock to go off an hour later than I needed it to, and by sheer good fortune, my discomfort woke me up on time to head out the door and teach yoga.
Oh god.
As I stumbled through the darkness pulling clothes out of my drawer (who knew what sort of crazy outfit I was putting together?!) my mind churned over all the reasons I could give for just not showing up. People would understand, I told myself. Everyone gets sick. What if I throw up in class? It's better that I just don't go...
What got me out the door was the small voice (of reason) in the back of my head that reminded me how much I love what I do. What a gift it is to be able to share something I love so much. How my role as teacher isn't about me, or how I feel, or what I think. It is about showing up and being present for my students. In tantric teachings we learn that the body is our vehicle to enlightenment. That through our physical experience we are given the gift of understanding suffering on a visceral level. By opening ourselves up to that experience we gain a deeper understanding of joy.
So my choice this morning was to be present with my experience.
As I rode my bike through the early morning light I took deep breaths of the cool, fresh morning air.
I enjoyed the empty streets and the silence of the city, broken only by the occassional car or fellow cyclist, and the ecstatic singing of hundred of birds welcoming the sun.
With my head pounding and my stomach churning, I hummed mantra.
When I arrived at the studio, I was given the opportunity to accept the compassion of others ~ my 2 students were agreeable to ending practise early and wished me well, sending me home with "drink lots of liquids" and "go back to bed"
Which I did.
I woke up at noon and was thankful that I had started my day with yoga.
I realized I had set my alarm clock to go off an hour later than I needed it to, and by sheer good fortune, my discomfort woke me up on time to head out the door and teach yoga.
Oh god.
As I stumbled through the darkness pulling clothes out of my drawer (who knew what sort of crazy outfit I was putting together?!) my mind churned over all the reasons I could give for just not showing up. People would understand, I told myself. Everyone gets sick. What if I throw up in class? It's better that I just don't go...
What got me out the door was the small voice (of reason) in the back of my head that reminded me how much I love what I do. What a gift it is to be able to share something I love so much. How my role as teacher isn't about me, or how I feel, or what I think. It is about showing up and being present for my students. In tantric teachings we learn that the body is our vehicle to enlightenment. That through our physical experience we are given the gift of understanding suffering on a visceral level. By opening ourselves up to that experience we gain a deeper understanding of joy.
So my choice this morning was to be present with my experience.
As I rode my bike through the early morning light I took deep breaths of the cool, fresh morning air.
I enjoyed the empty streets and the silence of the city, broken only by the occassional car or fellow cyclist, and the ecstatic singing of hundred of birds welcoming the sun.
With my head pounding and my stomach churning, I hummed mantra.
When I arrived at the studio, I was given the opportunity to accept the compassion of others ~ my 2 students were agreeable to ending practise early and wished me well, sending me home with "drink lots of liquids" and "go back to bed"
Which I did.
I woke up at noon and was thankful that I had started my day with yoga.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
walking on the earth
I have spent this past year cultivating my yoga practise, or, more specifically, my teaching practise...
The stars aligned to liberate me from my job after I completed my Moksha yoga training, which meant I had plenty of time, and a refreshing amount of energy, to dedicate to my studios and students.
Walking into the studio as a teacher for the first time, and knowing that I was finally walking the path I am meant to be on, left me in awe of myself. How did I finally manage to pull this all together?! I felt as though a journey that I began when I was 16 had finally come to an end. I was no longer trying to get anywhere. I had arrived.
Of course, it was just the first step on a whole new journey...
Arriving here, now, is pretty hard. My life is a story that I've made up in my mind. Every morning I get out of bed a new person, but I convince myself that I am still who I was last week, or last year, or last decade.
As I explore the teaching of embracing the present, I have hit a lot of stumbling blocks.
My body is one of them.
My mind is another.
As I strive to understand my self, I embrace the idea of living simply in a very different way.
So now I move forward, leaving my soapy posts in the ethereal dust.
My intention for this blog is to share what I see, hear and feel as I wander the path of goddess tradition, yoga and opening my heart to the abundance of the universe.
The stars aligned to liberate me from my job after I completed my Moksha yoga training, which meant I had plenty of time, and a refreshing amount of energy, to dedicate to my studios and students.
Walking into the studio as a teacher for the first time, and knowing that I was finally walking the path I am meant to be on, left me in awe of myself. How did I finally manage to pull this all together?! I felt as though a journey that I began when I was 16 had finally come to an end. I was no longer trying to get anywhere. I had arrived.
Of course, it was just the first step on a whole new journey...
Arriving here, now, is pretty hard. My life is a story that I've made up in my mind. Every morning I get out of bed a new person, but I convince myself that I am still who I was last week, or last year, or last decade.
As I explore the teaching of embracing the present, I have hit a lot of stumbling blocks.
My body is one of them.
My mind is another.
As I strive to understand my self, I embrace the idea of living simply in a very different way.
So now I move forward, leaving my soapy posts in the ethereal dust.
My intention for this blog is to share what I see, hear and feel as I wander the path of goddess tradition, yoga and opening my heart to the abundance of the universe.
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